


420 Belize It!

by whaleofatime



Category: Free!
Genre: 10 years later AU, Action/Adventure, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Tachibana Makoto Birthday Exchange 2020, The Gang Go On An Adventure In Central America, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whaleofatime/pseuds/whaleofatime
Summary: A work trip in Central America goes off the rails, and Rin isn't sure what he's done in his life to deserve ending up lost in the middle of a jungle on a golf cart with Nagisa and Makoto, but this is just his life now.Haru and Rei come to their rescue, and after a night full of phantom jaguars, jay-walking anteaters, and failed proposals, Rin's amazed by how much love he's still got for these idiots.(A gift for Cruria!)
Relationships: Matsuoka Rin & Tachibana Makoto, Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13
Collections: Tachibana Makoto Birthday Exchange 2020





	420 Belize It!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



If asked, Rin would struggle really hard to explain the progression of his life from 'swimming non-prodigy' to 'pro swimmer' to that weird, brief period where he flirted with the idea of being a cop after a shoulder injury ended his career. All the highs and lows of his relationship with swimming could fill a couple of memoirs, easy, but that would be two volumes just till age 26.

Everything that’s happened since then could fill an entire encyclopaedia set, and that’s _exclusively_ down to Nagisa’s involvement. Now Rin’s close to turning 30 and his life’s the most off-the-rails it’s ever been. There’s no sane way to explain how a year-end party with the former Iwatobi gang a few years ago ended up with all of them drunk off their heads, lying down in the yard of the Nanase family home agreeing to quit all of their collectively unsatisfying jobs to go off and start a business on their own.

Going a little insane on sweet sake with friends a couple of weeks before Christmas is not _that_ unusual, but Rin hadn’t been the only one having a really bad year. When they woke up the next morning, they realised that they had all sent some variation of a resignation letter to their bosses (or, in Haru’s case, a text message consisting of ‘🙅🏻♂️🏊♂️ 🙅🏻♂️ 💦 🐬’ sent to his coach), and Nagisa had thrown all their phones in the bathtub before they could start second-guessing themselves.

Haru and Makoto had also woken up tangled in bed together and came to some incredibly long overdue realisations, and that…..

Is how ‘Iwatobi Odd Jobs Ltd.’ was formed, and how Rin became a mercenary almost three years ago now. Initially, they didn’t do anything more adventurous than rescue missing kittens and help old ladies with chores, but their reputation for reliability and unflinching politeness (thank fuck for Makoto) helped them grow, grow, grow the business, and now….

This is their biggest job by far, almost smack-bang on top of the anniversary of the founding of IOJ. They’ve been called down to the hot and humid Central American nation of Belize to assist in some conservation work. At least, that’s the story they tell their friends and family, when the real story is that their little gang of five have actually been hired to deal with poachers and tomb raiders. At the request of some archaeologists, they have now spent three months camping and patrolling the rainforest, scaring off thieves from ransacking the hundreds of Mayan ruins that haven’t been excavated. With the dig now underway, they’re technically unemployed and literally bored to tears, and they’re trying to discuss what they should do next.

Rei had _reasonably_ suggested that they should move to Belize City to reacquaint themselves with civilisation, and Rin had been more than happy to second that idea. God, the thought of freshly-laundered clothes seems like literal heaven at this point, but Nagisa doesn't want to leave the jungle until they see a real-life jaguar. Makoto, their peace-maker, had been happy to take it to a vote but had ended up breaking the tie for the side of Evil because Haru had inexplicably voted Stay. Any hope of seeing a hotel room by nightfall and a flight that’ll get them home in time for Christmas and New Year’s disappears with Nagisa storming off into the trees in a huff. All Rin can do at this point is pat Rei on the back and try to figure out if he has enough deodorant to outlast Nagisa’s stubbornness. 

He’s pretty sure he doesn’t, and Rin’s about to go and bother Makoto to see if he has any spares with him when a loud noise heralds Nagisa’s return with, uh.

Uhm.

"Borrowed it from that research lab down by the river!" Nagisa announces proudly, jumping out and patting the dirty white plastic bumper of a golf cart. Rei is futzing so hard with his glasses the others fear it will snap. Haru hasn't even bothered to peer out over the lip of the oil drum they'd salvaged and repurposed as a bathtub for him, even though it’s probably filled with equal parts water and sweat by this point.

Rin tries not to groan, but he doesn’t succeed. "Oi, Nagisa, if you stole that I'm volunteering for the shooting squad when the army comes by to arrest you." It’s just a lot to handle this close to sundown; being mauled by mosquitoes is a great way to lose love for your fellow man, that’s for fucking sure. He idly scratches at a bite on his cheek and tries to make himself believe that just knocking out Nagisa and dragging him to the city is Not Okay. 

Nagisa pouts, and it's cute like panthers are cute when you can't see their teeth. "Live a little, Rin Rin. We've got two more weeks before our visa runs out! You can't have a tropical adventure in Japan," he points out reasonably. "So! Who are the two lucky boys who get to go on Nagisa's Super Special Crazy Fun Night Safari Tour!"

As one, the others are startled into a silence that lasts until a sloshing sound breaks it; it’s Haru's arm jutting out from the top of the oil drum, hand clenched in a fist.

It pretty much looks like the Lady of the Lake is up for rock paper scissors. That pretty much is _exactly_ what it is.

*

Haru wins the right to opt-out, to the surprise of absolutely nobody. Rei wins too, and is almost driven to overjoyed tears. He keeps patting his right hand with his left reverently, and everyone’s just pretending not to notice. Rei and Haru have a quiet conversation together while Rin goes through all 7 stages of grief and Makoto accepts defeat with a good-natured laugh

Nagisa just grins, like a sugar skull all bright and pretty. If there is some gleeful hand rubbing involved, well. He's only human (probably).

*

An hour before they are due to depart on the golf buggy's maiden voyage, Makoto quietly sidles up to Rin, too serene even by his standards. The reason may well lie in a suspicious half-full plastic bottle hanging loosely from one hand. "Hey, Rin," he calls out cheerfully. "Would you like something to help you relax before Nagisa gets us lost in the jungle, exotic foreigner flesh for crocodiles and jaguars and poachers to enjoy?!"

Rin winces; Makoto’s voice had gone Full Manic there at the end. Not for the first time, Rin wonders how dear sweet Mako-chan finds the strength in amongst his thousands of fears to work exclusively in a field full of scary things. It's probably For The Team, and Haru's presence definitely helps. All of them would be quick to come to Makoto's defence, _of course_ , but while Rin is pretty sure he'd draw the line at beating someone up, it's pitifully easy to imagine Haru evolving into his ultimate Angry Boyfriend form and just straight-up murdering a man in Makoto’s name. 

For fears that fists can’t solve…..

Pineapple rum probably helps. Rin sighs, scooting over a little so the larger man can lean against the same tree. "Nah, you need it more," Rin charitably responds, though Makoto might not have heard, busy as he was uncapping the bottle and taking a glug. 

The air is filled with the scent of too-sweet pineapple and the sharp undertone of booze. At least Makoto is looking more relaxed. Sortof. Not really. 

Goddammit. 

"Look," Rin starts off in a rush. "If it's too much, we can just make Haru swap with you. I don't know, I can threaten to drill holes in his tin can or something. Hell, if you just ask nicely he’ll probably rip the battery out and throw it into a river. You don't have to kill yourself to follow Nagisa's whims."

Makoto laughs breathily, and what comes out is a bit of sound and a lot of fumes. "What are you saying?" He hiccups, and suddenly he’s exactly as sweet as he was age 9. "I wish I was only freaking out about this trip." He giggles softly, and almost drops the bottle to pat himself down, looking for who knows what.

No point in needling Makoto for more information if he was living his best tipsy life. Rin shrugs, mutters _suit yourself_ , but keeps an eye on Haru to see if their telepathy thing sounds any alarms.

So far, so not yet too terrible.

*

They have dinner first, because it's only right to go adventuring on a full stomach. Rin's mood alternates between ‘pretty cranky’ and ‘increasingly confident that this is going to go terribly wrong so he might as well enjoy it’. His mood turns substantially more sour when Rei serves up today’s portion of rice and beans, and it looks exactly the same as the plate of rice and beans they’ve had every day for a week now. At least Haru is equally annoyed; mackerel isn’t a freshwater fish, no matter how hard a man dreams, but it doesn’t stop him from pouting over dinner. Makoto is just happy that they don't have to eat snake (again), Nagisa is fine as long as food isn't in short supply and his chocolate stash is still at a healthy level, and Rei ignores all of them because none of them even _noticed_ that he’s been adding paprika to the beans for a bit of a kick.

A bottle of pineapple rum gets passed around, and just a sip is enough to make Rin feel like the red of his tongue is being stripped right off. Makoto's deep swig is more terrifying now that he knows its potency, but no one seems concerned and Haru's already dozing with his head on Makoto’s shoulder.

"Mako-chan, Rin-chan, get ready for the time of your life! "

Makoto kindly smiles at a tarantula crawling across his foot in response and Rin is left to wonder whether or not Mother Mary would listen to his hails when he never before has shown any interest in her.

He suspects the answer is no; mom always did lovingly say he was a bit of a nightmare child.

*

At least Rei and Haru don't just leave them to die. Rei had insisted on checking under the hood to make sure the golf cart is in good working order, and then took it on a test drive around their campsite to be doubly sure. Nagisa had cheerfully ceded the driver's seat for the peace of mind of his buggy-mates, and Rin is more than happy to assume captaincy of this tour.

Makoto is leaning lightly against the drum that houses their resident water boy, looking more calm and loose-limbed than any rum could get him. His hand skims the water's surface idly while the two exchange quiet words, share a glance or two hundred, and lightly brush against each other with their fingertips.

Sometimes Rin looks at Makoto and Haru and gets a little emotional, ends up thinking _oh, wow, love really is Real_.

Sometimes Rin looks at them and wonders how Makoto is so chill with dating a guy whose favourite hobby is sitting for hours in somewhat rancid water.

Haru makes an effort to straighten up and press a little good luck kiss to Makoto’s cheek, and okay, the losers are maybe _kindof_ cute.

Eventually Rei returns with the buggy and gives it a clean bill of health. He's hands down the best driver of all of them, by virtue of being the one with the most (any) common sense, so Rin feels pretty reassured. Haru shoos Makoto off at about the same time as Nagisa slides into the buggy, taking up the corner seat with the air of someone who has absolute certainty that he will not be moved. Rin thinks it's not going to be super comfortable for the biggest member of the threesome to get the centre seat, but knows he needs to pick his battles. 

Rin waits by the driver's side for Makoto to slide in, now resplendent with a tranquil smile courtesy of having a Moment with Haru. The man has a skip in his step, which makes Rin wonder if he’s high on booze or affection, but before he can question it further he's tugged sharply back, sprawling across the centre of the bench with his wrist still in the blond demon's grasp. He's about to calmly yell _what in the hell, Nagisa_ , before he feels his legs get pushed in as Makoto takes his position behind the wheel. 

Rin readies his lungs to yell at Makoto instead, but he's cut off by Makoto turning the key and the engine roaring to insipid life. Smoothly Makoto backs out, executing a spectacular turn to orientate the buggy to face the path that leads into the heart of the jungle.

Well, then. Maybe Rin could do with a little more Trust for Tachibana in his heart. Makoto does tend to come through when times are toughest, hey.

Rei stands dutifully to the side, arms folded and expression concerned. Haru actually makes the effort to stand so that he can rest his folded arms on the lip of his oil drum tub, eyes trained on Makoto with a fond, thoughtful expression. It’s the look Haru generally has when he’s looking at Makoto while Makoto isn’t looking, and it’s similar to the look Nagisa gets when they stumble back into civilisation after a long trip and find a bakery.

His friends are weirdos, but he loves them anyway.

Haru mouths something at him, but Rin accidentally broke his spare glasses earlier in the month and they _know_ he’s short-sighted. Haru just is Like That, but Rin still does his best to squint and lip-read.

Haru might’ve said, _take care of him._

Haru also might have said, _Takuya Morpheus, Rin_.

(Takuya Morpheus you very much too, fish boy).

*

They set off down the barely beaten path, hurtling into the pitch blackness held only slightly at bay by the headlamps. According to Rei's estimation, they have enough gas in the tank for a good two-hour drive, so the plan is to keep along this exploratory logging path and then double back about an hour in. Nagisa had an eerily accurate internal clock, and Makoto always tended to err on the side of caution, so Rin doesn't foresee much misfortune in their way.

In fact, half an hour in and the biggest issue he's got at hand is the fact that the buggy had no seat belts, and the only thing that stopped that big ass branch that whapped Nagisa in the face from slapping him right out the car was Rin's arm around his middle, anchoring the littlest member to Makoto’s solid weight. Even then Nagisa hadn't gotten away unscathed, red scratches lining his face. Rin isn't sure what's more shocking; that he's the only one freaking about the eye Nagisa could've lost, or that Makoto hadn't even slowed down despite Rin's multilingual yelling.

Rin is gearing up to pull rank as the swim captain of the bigger team and commandeer this vehicle, when the buggy swerves wildly around what had looked like just a lump on the ground.

"Anteater!" Makoto calls out breathlessly, sparing a moment to glance at Rin and Nagisa to confirm that there's no man overboard. Rin sees mania in green eyes, and is overwhelmed with the realisation that somehow, over the course of just a few years of being low-level mercenaries, he’s ended up as The Normal One.

Mom would be proud (probably).

"It's fine, we missed him, we're all fine!" Makoto continues chirpily, eyes back on the road, absolutely flooring it. The max speed of the buggy isn’t that impressive, but the effect is powerful when they have leaves, vines, and bugs flying into their faces as the path gets narrower and narrower. The next anteater won't be as lucky, Rin suspects. As is, he's got his hands full (literally) with his possibly insane seatmates, as Nagisa whoops loudly and waves at snakes on their perches in the trees (forked tongues taste the air and it's probably bitter umami with Rin's concern).

He tries to chart a course towards their collective wellbeing. Makoto is hard to read at the best of times, and him going buckwild on a buggy ride could be a symptom of anything as mundane as being a little bored at camp and wanting an adventure, to something as serious as Makoto being deeply, deeply upset about something and trying his best to run away from it. Rin’s not really known for his soft touch with people, but as far as friends go Makoto is easily in his top 3, so if something’s bothering Makoto, then Rin is bothered. 

Plus if he's honest, there's a good chance that this outing has all been pre-planned, what with the participants being who they are, and Makoto’s behaviour so wild that even Rin's noticed. Nagisa probably took charge given the level of chaos, and since this is about Makoto, there’s less than zero chance that Haru hasn’t, like, psychically picked up on it. Hell, Rei often willingly goes along with Nagisa's schemes, and Rin should have guessed that something was up when Glasses took part in rock-paper-scissors. Rin’s in the dark about what’s actually going on, but no one’s ever accused him of being a quitter. If he has to stumble and fumble his way to figuring out how to be a good friend?

He tightens his hold around both men, ignores Nagisa's pleased, knowing grin and just huffs at the questioning look Makoto sends him as all three duck under a low hanging vine that slaps against the buggy top with a meaty thunk. 

"We’re fine," he says instead, echoing Makoto's sentiment but minus an anteater. 

Nagisa hums, god knows in agreement to what, and nods at the fork a little ahead of them. "Left goes to the river. Right's a mystery! Take your pick, Mako-chan!"

The buggy slows down at the behest of its driver, before speeding up once Makoto's mind is made up.

"The future is supposed to be exciting, isn't it?" Makoto sing-songs into the night, giddy and laughing. 

Rin can’t help but break into a smile; crazy obviously runs in teams, and sometimes you just need to open your heart to a bit of the wilderness.

They go careening down the path of Mystery, yes, and damn, what a time to be alive. 

*

"We are sooooooooo lost," Nagisa announces once they've gone a good long while down the road of Mystery. "According to _me_ , we should have been curving enough to hit that little side logging road that had the puddle that Haru-chan fought a boa for. This weird clearing, the broken fence we passed just now?” He shrugs, and smiles for absolutely no good reason. “I have no idea where we are."

The joyride has burned off Makoto's exhilaration, and now with their gas supply dwindling along with his confidence that he hadn't gotten them lost, he seems like he’s just barely holding on to his smile with his teeth. Rin’s about to suggest they stop and regroup, try to orientate themselves either with the stars or his phone, when the very clear, very eerie sound of a bell being rung cuts through the air, quiet, crisp, and terrifying. 

At his side, Makoto sucks in a sharp breath and breaks into a shudder, and Rin grits his teeth. Under most circumstances up to and including ‘person you want to have with you when you have to go to a dentist for an emergency root canal while in Alberta, Canada, in mid-winter’, Makoto is crazy, crazy good company.

Under circumstances where there’s the slightest _hint_ of the supernatural, of things that are spooky and go _bump!_ in the night, he’s less staunchly reliable. Even _that_ isn’t much of an issue, given that Rei doesn’t believe in ghosts, Haru doesn’t believe in anything he doesn’t have to, Rin doesn’t believe in being scared of things he can’t see, and Nagisa….

Nagisa doesn’t even believe in god, so. 

The main trouble of Makoto being scared, _really_ scared, when he goes pale in the face and he instinctively reaches out to pluck a sleeve, is that it ratchets up everyone’s protectiveness to 11. Rin tightens his arm around Makoto’s waist and feels Nagisa reach over behind him to press his hand to Makoto’s arm. Rin looks over at Nagisa, and they both share a look of loving solidarity.

The buggy comes to a halt as Makoto slows down to try to find the source of the ringing that's getting increasingly louder. “Don’t worry, guys, I’m sure it’s nothing,” he says with his voice all shaky, and Rin just hums as he looks around for something to dig his teeth into. 

The bushes rustle, but why wouldn't they? Distantly they hear what sounds like a muted roar and they all tense in their seats, frozen in place. The tension snaps with Makoto breaking into a flurry of movement as he climbs out the buggy, drawing himself to his full height and puffing himself up, like he’s trying to hide Nagisa and Rin behind the span of his shoulders.

"I'll stop whatever it is that's making that noise and coming for us. Rin, just slam the gear in reverse and get away, okay? I’m leaving Nagisa to you. Uhm." Makoto breathes in shakily. “Tell Haru sorry, too.” His voice wavers but his back is straight, and Rin is, he’s just, he’s so _absolutely_ determined to not accept this as real life. What in the hell is out there, a bell ringer of a panther anxious to try out some quality Japanese meat? Some semblance of sanity must remain to be found, and even if there isn’t, there's no call for Makoto to be the sacrificial lamb, face paler than a sheet, eyes hazy with terror.

Who's the one with the teeth, god damn it. Makoto would probably make an impressive attempt at taking down a chainsaw murderer riding a tiger if he had something to defend, but Rin is reasonably sure that if he ran off with Nagisa here there's a chance Makoto will just lie down and calmly wait for death (and maybe reincarnation, because surely Mako is a man destined for enlightenment). 

It’s not a chance Rin is willing to take.

Luckily Nagisa seems to share Rin's concerns. While Makoto is doing his best to make a good last stand, Nagisa ignores him to grab a golf club from somewhere behind the seat, nimbly jumping out to stand in front of Makoto, club held in front of him like a samurai sword. 

Nagisa looks nothing like a warrior from days long past, but fighting spirit is pretty much overflowing the littlest member of the gang. Nagisa’s confidence is so unwavering it's blinding and comforting all at once. It silences even a rambling Makoto, though that only lasts for a second before he's trying to get Nagisa back in the buggy, safe and sound.

"Mako-chan?" Nagisa says, refusing to be moved.

"... Please, Nagisa," Makoto pleads, gently tugging on an arm.

Nagisa blows his bangs out of his eyes, and like cotton candy wrapped around a blackjack his voice is all sugar and murder. "Mako-chan, shush. No one is leaving anyone behind, okay? Especially not me, since this expedition was my idea anyways." The club whistles as it cuts through the air, Nagisa taking some practice swings.

Nice weight to it. Like this, he could probably take down an unarmed assailant, or a mediocre large predator. If he fails, there's the powerful barrier erected by the vicious points of Rin-chan's teeth behind him.

And if somehow even _that_ fails and their attacker gets to Makoto, well.

First, at least they'll go down together. Second, given that Haru-chan can be frighteningly obsessive about things to do with friends in general and things to do with Makoto in particular, they wouldn't go unavenged. 

Mostly, though, Nagisa just doesn't want to have Makoto terrified like this. It's the same discomfort he'd have if he was seeing his mother cry. It’s this sense of tremendous Wrongness with the universe, a fundamental unfairness that needs fixing.

But he's got a weapon so he isn't helpless, and he's got friends so he isn't alone. They can fight.

They might not manage a win, but they sure as hell can try. 

The bushes rustle ahead of them, so loud in the sudden quiet, and Nagisa has just enough time to semi-hysterically think _Tactical Jaguars would be a great name for a band_ before things come to a head.

*

There's a shit tonne of shouting but a lot less screaming than Rin had anticipated, so he's just sitting on a bench and trying not to laugh at the group of kids trying to help Nagisa haul the buggy out the cage. One of the zookeepers, an older woman with strong hands and a sharp smile, has a gentle hold on Makoto’s shoulder and is speaking to him softly, and Rin can tell her soothing tone is doing wonders to help Makoto’s strained nerves. Rin tugs the scratchy wool blanket more tightly around his shoulders, and tries to will away a headache.

It's not every night you find foreigners in a golf buggy accidentally breaking into the massive jaguar enclosure while you're leading a bunch of students through your zoo on a Night Safari, so Rin’s really, really impressed with how well the staff are reacting. Makoto can't honestly be sure who had been more shocked, them or the gaggle of zookeepers who had heard their panicked whispers coming from the wrong side of the fence.

The youngest zookeeper, Edgar, is a quiet young man with deep eyes and a serious face. He’s also a massive fan of a sports anime all three of them are just way too old to recognise. He was the one that cracked the case: when the zookeeper lady had rung the bell to call Buddy the jaguar for his meal to let the kids see him, he was the one who realised that the panicked voices they'd heard were people speaking in Japanese, and not, as initially suspected, the jungle speaking in tongues. 

He's also the one currently trying to organise the buggy retrieval squad and it’s a riot between Edgar’s filled-with-youthful-exuberance anime Japanese and Nagisa's vivid miming and Extremely Questionable Japanglish. 

Zookeeper lady pats Makoto on the cheek before she gets up and grabs the bucket that holds the chunks of meat for Buddy. Cat’s got to eat, after all. Rin takes the opening, gets up and goes to sit by Makoto to share his cardboard cup of giftshop coffee one of the kids had passed him. “You doing okay, Makoto?”

Makoto accepts the coffee gratefully, even though they both know he hates bitter drinks. “It’s been a really exciting day. It’s even crazier than I thought it would be.” He laughs and nudges Rin in the side. “Nagisa looked really cool with the golf club, didn’t he?”

“Mmhmm.” Rin nudges him right back. “Your voice might’ve been breaking all over, but you looked really cool too when you were ready to tackle a ghost tiger to let me and Nagisa run away.” He unfolds the blanket from around his shoulders and flops it across both their laps, because it’s comforting even on this warm, balmy night. “And you know any night that’s got Nagisa is going to be wild.”

It’s certainly true even for the students who are here on their little school trip, as three kids try to lift the back wheels of the buggy out of the mud while Nagisa floors the accelerator. A boy with neat hair bursts into laughter when a patch of turf smacks him neatly in the shoulder, and Edgar asks if he’s all right from his post holding a broom up to keep Buddy away. Rin and Makoto watch and clap politely when the kids eventually manage to liberate the golf cart, rolling it out onto the exhibition floor. Their chaperone gets up from her seat close to the information plaque where she had been chatting with the senior zookeeper, and after getting the kids to say thank you to the strange little blond man, she shoos the chattering students onwards.

"They're heading to the tapir enclosure next, to see a pregnant tapir lady," Rin grumbles, overhearing their conversation. He just waves when Nagisa loudly declares he’s going to join the kids on their night safari since his own got cut short. "A slow cute herbivore they have under control, but the jaguar cage is busted and no one even noticed. How messed up is that?" 

Makoto laughs, because it is messed up, but he’s in pretty good cheer for someone who was ready to fistfight an apex predator. After all, Makoto had caught a real good look of Buddy on the way out the cage, and….

11/10, easily the biggest, sweetest murder cat he’s ever seen. “After being friends with Nagisa for so long, you’d think I would stop making plans.”

“What hot plans did you have tonight? Going to split a romantic plate of beans with Nanase in the drum?” Rin snorts, because he has to distract himself from thinking it maybe _would_ be a little cute to share a stand-up bathtub with a partner.

God. As soon as he gets to the city, he’s going to try and find someone to take out on a date. His overflowing romantic nature is _wasted_ on Rei, Nagisa, and Haru.

He’s sharing a blanket and a cuppa with Makoto, so Mako gets a pass.

Makoto is quiet, before he starts laughing softly. “I actually had big plans for tonight, Rin Rin. _Really_ big plans. I’ve been psyching myself up for _months_ , but Nagisa really is a force of nature.” Makoto turns in his seat to face Rin, and he’s flushed and giddy and it’s like the effects of pineapple rum times a thousand. “I’m going to tell you a secret, Rin, but you can’t tell _anyone_.”

Rin leans closer, intrigued. “What’s going on?”

Makoto looks around furtively, before he slips a hand into his pocket. “It’s already the end of the year, so it’s getting close to me and Haru-chan’s anniversary. We’ve only been dating for a little while, but…” Here he flushes a bright red, red right up to the tips of his ears, as he pulls out a little velvet box. “I thought it’s time.”

Rin can’t help it; as soon as Makoto pops the box open and he spies the little dark band with the glittering blue stone, he’s already tearing up. “Makooooooooo,” he wails, rubbing at his eyes. “That’s a _beautiful_ ring, I’m so happy for you, if Haru ever hurts you I _will_ bite both his arms off.” He thinks he’s got himself under control until he sees the ring again and Rin is full-on bawling. “I’m going to be both of your best men, the best best man, and the wedding will be beautiful.”

Makoto, filled with grace even in the face of a sobbing man, just laughs and turns teary-eyed too. “Rin, I don’t even know if he’s going to say _yes_ , I bought this ring for his _birthday_ and I still haven’t been brave enough to ask.” He fumbles a little, snapping the box shut and putting it back in his pocket. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be brave enough to ask.”

“Don’t be stupid!” Rin hisses, smacking Makoto hard on the shoulder. “One, you were ready to take down a jaguar for us like fifteen minutes ago! And two…. Makoto, reason number two to two hundred why you don’t need to be afraid, is because there is no way in _hell_ Haru’s going to say no to you.”

He surges to his feet, energised and hyper. “C’mon, they opened the gift shop so they could get us coffee and snacks, let’s see if there’s anything we can buy to make a fancy anniversary dinner.” Rin gasps, amazed by his own genius. “If they have a little plush toy of Buddy, you can tie the ring around his collar and hand it over to Haru. Crap, that’s super cute.”

Makoto rises to his feet next to him, flushed and equally giddy. “You really think this is going to work?”

It’s astonishing that a man so imposing in shape is so sweet in nature. Rin just rolls his eyes, tugging Makoto along. He could say, _Haru would sooner bite both his arms off himself than hurt you_ , he could say, _you both love each other so hard I’ve been embarrassed for you since I was 9_ , he could say any number of fundamental truths about how sure he is that things will work, but instead Rin invokes the highest power of all;

“Anything’s possible on Nagisa's Super Special Crazy Fun Night Safari Tour, Makoto.”

And that’s that on that.

*

The rest of the night goes like this:

With the cooperation of the night staff, Rin and Makoto buy up a bunch of snacks and an assortment of knickknacks from the gift shop. There were a couple of ‘ocean breeze’ scented candles that were perfect to set the mood, and they decide on a picnic table close to the petting zoo as the Perfect Location. A printed scarf makes for a nice table cloth, and the candlelight dances supremely prettily once they have all the lights in the area turned off. Rin is helping Makoto pour lukewarm cola into plastic mugs with pictures of birds on them when Nagisa finds them again, and the first thing he does is laugh so hard he falls over.

“Nagisa, what the hell are you doing?” Rin asks without heat, ripping open a bag of potato chips and trying to let it rest artfully against the cup.

“It’s fine,” says Nagisa, who’s struggling for breath so much he might be having an asthma attack. “I just, I just wanted to say I got a hold of Rei-chan and Haru-chan, and they’re almost here.” Something about that sets him off again, and he only gets up to collapse with laughter on a bench after Makoto chides him for getting his clothes dirty.

Rin doesn’t think too much about it; there indeed was a plush toy of Buddy in the gift shop, albeit one much bigger than either of them anticipated. Buddy’s the size of a 6-year-old, and takes up a whole seat at the picnic table. They ended up needing to use Rin’s shoelaces to make a collar long enough to go around his neck, but the ring dangling from it catches the firelight exactly right so Rin has no complaints there.

Makoto is off to the side, sometimes serene sometimes panicked, as he practices any number of romantic lines to lead into a proposal. After Nagisa regains his sanity he goes over to help, and Rin just leaves them be because he wants to take a picture of this romantic dinner he’s managed to conjure up with very little help from the universe.

Rin hears Nagisa suggesting a ‘flash mob’ when Haru and Rei make their entrance, and oh, what an entrance it is.

Rei looks much like he had when they had left him, but Haru…. Haru is in a three-piece suit in dark navy blue, he has twigs in his hair, hiking boots on his feet, and a diving knife strapped to his thigh. Haru looks like a male model hired for both a wedding catalogue and an outdoor sporting goods store, and he’d showed up as both.

Makoto gawks at him, but Haru ignores his reaction to instantly reach out and pat down Makoto, checking for injuries with a practised hand and only stepping back when he finds none. “Are you all right, Makoto?”

“I am, Haru-chan, but what’s going on? Why are you wearing a suit?” Makoto is clearly struggling to make sense of the situation, even as he tries to body-block plush Buddy from view. “Did you have plans with Rei? You got here really quick.”

“Me and Rei were in town so that I could buy you a cake,” Haru says, as though that’s explanation enough. “We took the bike, so when Nagisa called it didn’t take us long to get here.”

“Why….. did you want to buy me cake?”

“Because I was going to propose to you tonight,” Haru said impatiently, even as Rei gasps out a forlorn “No!” in the background. “And Nagisa was supposed to buy us time to make things look nice for you, not get lost and get you in danger.” At this Haru scowls at Nagisa, who’s clearly spending every ounce of energy he has on not exploding with laughter. “You sure you’re all right?”

Makoto is stricken dumb at the world’s most earnest, most chaotic proposal in the world, even as Rin jumps to his feet, raring for a fight. “What the hell Haru, you told everyone you were going to propose but you didn’t tell me?!”

Haru turns to look at Rin with a blank-faced stare. “If I had told you you would have gotten weepy every time you looked at Makoto. You can’t keep a secret to save your life.”

Just because it’s true, doesn’t mean you have to _say_ it. Rin scowls, stomping up to Haru in a huff. “ _Well_ , at least _one_ of you trusted me to keep it a secret!”

At that, everyone goes quiet, Makoto’s startled gasp sounded out by the clack of Rin’s teeth meeting together as he snaps his jaw shut. It’s like a Mexican stand-off, except there are 5 people in this dispute, no one has guns, and they’re in Belize.

Haru comes to himself first, and he just smirks. “Told you.”

Rin is seriously considering supplexing Haru right into the jaguar enclosure, sorry Makoto, but Haru has always, always had a one-track mind and right now he’s a runaway freight train with a destination in mind, and it’s not a fight with Rin he’s after.

Haru spins on his heel, back to facing Makoto, now looking smug and deeply, deeply pleased, like a housecat who knows he’s the house favourite. “Did you have something to ask me, Mako-chan?” he asks, the best-dressed man in a ten-mile radius with a face to match.

His smiles= just grows bigger as Makoto turns redder and struggles to string a sentence together. “Or do you want me to ask, instead?” Haru reaches out and tugs Makoto’s hand towards him, up to his face, close enough to press a sweet kiss on a ring finger. “I’m sorry I missed your birthday, it took a while to get a suit made in secret.” Haru plucks a little box out his pocket, and gets down on one knee. Rin is already sniffling, Makoto is almost crying, Nagisa has been recording this entire Event since Haru and Rei had manifested, and Rei is holding on to the cake box with a wobbling lip.

“Tachibana Makoto,” Haru says, and there’s a world’s worth of affection just in how he says the name, “will you marry me-“

When they look back on this, they’ll all agree that given how out of control the entire night’s been, it only makes sense that the proposal wouldn't happen in peace.

In the moment, Rin can’t help but snap “What?!” when Edgar appears all flushed and flustered, cutting Haru off.

Edgar looks around and the messed-up tableau of the Iwatobi gang, but doesn’t seem to be too concerned. “It’s April!! She’s giving birth!” he yells, before spinning ‘round to run back where he came from.

As one, the rest of them look at each other before breaking into a run, Rin grabbing Buddy because he’s going to see them puts rings on each other if it’s the last damn thing he does. The tapir enclosure is close by, and they’re met there by the kids who are absolutely having the best zoo experience of their lives. There are three zookeepers are in the enclosure, and April the tapir is making some horrifying sounds that make all the Iwatobi boys feel vaguely guilty about their mothers.

It’s a long, rough night, and Rin finds himself running alongside a 12-year-old to grab blankets and towels as Rei runs after a vet tech to fetch more medication. Things seem touch and go for a little while, and tensions are high.

And then it’s daybreak, the sun bursting through the clouds in a blaze of yellow, the vet yells “It’s twins!”, and there’s not a single goddamned dry eye in the house, oh my god.

Makoto and Haru, fresh fiancés, have their first picture as an engaged couple together with the baby tapirs swaddled in blankets, and Haru on the spot swears that all he wants for a wedding gift is for people to donate the entirety of their income to the zoo, and also that he might not let go of the baby, so there’s that.

All in all, Rin’s got to say it’s the most romantic proposal he’s ever seen.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Cruria, I'm so glad I got the opportunity to pinch-hit for your incredible list! Here's a Rin-centric MakoHaru bit of action-adventure crack, where the mystery they're trying to solve is Why Are They Like This. This is such a chaotic fic, I hope you like it anyways (;´Д`) and sorry you ended up waiting so long, hope this makes up for it c: 
> 
> [Based on the irl Belize Zoo, who are accepting donations to help with Ms. Rona! ](http://www.belizezoo.org/index.php)
> 
> Really been going through it IRL so this was such a distracting delight to work on!


End file.
